If you’re having trouble getting a story started, try a “feature-y” lede and start with either the word “When” or “For.” If you’re stuck halfway through a story, try using the first word of your next paragraph with either “Indeed” or “Still.”
I see these patterns constantly and they’re often well used. Just don’t use them too much or you might end up on the November 9 posting about clichés (I once saw that the front of The Wall Street Journal’s Marketplace section had no less than three stories that began with the word “When.”)
To start: “For” and “When”
For
One of my favorite simple openers was last year in the Journal’s Money & Investing section. It was a fun story on the late-night negotiations of the auctioning of Blockbuster Inc.’s assets. The story chronicled the bankruptcy court shouting matches, competing bids and accusations of stolen pizzas as each side took the first pie that was delivered to their deliberating room, regardless of which party had ordered it. The lede was simply:
For Wall Street lawyers and bankers, it was a Blockbuster night.
Here’s one from the Associated Press as printed in the Jacksonville Times-Union:
For Northeastern farmers long used to coping with all sorts of cold-weather problems, this winter presents a new one: snow and ice that’s bringing down out-buildings, requiring costly repairs, killing livestock and destroying supplies.
Here’s one from the Journal’s A-head feature on the bottom of their front page (these are always great):
For New Jersey’s legion of tax accountants, boom times come once a year. But local taxidermists can wait for years at a stretch for their biggest money-maker: bear-hunting season.
When
From The Washington Post’s Style section in December:
When Gary Clark Jr.’s right hand hits the strings of his electric guitar, it’s almost always a downstroke – as if he wants gravity on his side.
Here’s one from the Post’s front page:
When Elaine Cioni found out that her married boyfriend had other girlfriends, she became obsessed, federal prosecutors say.
You can even imply “when” by starting with a comparison timeline (from the Journal in December):
Three years after Siemens AG reached a record foreign-bribery settlement with U.S. authorities, the German industrial conglomerate is capitalizing on business from an unexpected place – the U.S. government.
Come to think about it, the first story I ever had published in a newspaper began with the word "When." It was a feature about poetry. "When" a local librarian had hosted a poetry reading for teens, only a handful of people showed up. But when he turned it into a competition – a la American Idol – kids showed up in droves with mini-vans full of accompanying family members.
Come to think about it, the first story I ever had published in a newspaper began with the word "When." It was a feature about poetry. "When" a local librarian had hosted a poetry reading for teens, only a handful of people showed up. But when he turned it into a competition – a la American Idol – kids showed up in droves with mini-vans full of accompanying family members.
To continue: “Indeed” and “Still”
“Indeed”
This word actually shows up in another blog's listing of clichéd words in journalism, but I don’t care. If used well and sparingly, it’s effective. I picked examples where it appears within the first five grafs, but it works well when it appears later.
From the AP, as printed in the Washington Post: http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/romneys-florida-victory-aside-gop-nomination-fight-expected-to-for-a-while/2012/02/01/gIQAbetfiQ_story.html
Indeed, some 46 states have yet to vote and only 6 percent of the delegates have been won.
From USA Today: http://yourlife.usatoday.com/mind-soul/doing-good/kindness/post/2011/10/itzhak-perlman-says-we-are-this-close-to-ending-polio-for-good/141014/1
Indeed, since taking polio on in 1985, Rotary has helped to immunize 2 billion children in 122 countries, slashing polio rates by 99%.
Still
The word “still” helps you show more than just one side of the story. It also serves as going back to an original premise that was later challenged in the story. Here are a couple of examples, first from the Los Angeles Times:
Still, the construction industry remains weak. Spending on all building projects in 2011 was just $787.4 billion. That's 2 percent lower than the previous year and roughly half the level economists consider healthy.
And from the Miami Herald, this intellectually stimulating story of the 80s rock band Foreigner:
Still, much of Foreigner’s recent recorded output has been to cut new versions of old hits.
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