captions

Writers with a serving mentality take the time to write effective captions for readers. Most readers aren’t going to read your entire story, and many won’t even start reading. But some research studies suggest that a caption is likely to be the text that’s read word-for-word on your page. That’s because it appears below the thing a reader’s eye is drawn to first – a picture.

Associated Press style suggests news photo captions – or “cutlines” – should generally contain two sentences:

First sentence – uses present tense to describe what’s going on in the picture. It also includes the location and date the picture was taken.

Second sentence – uses past tense to offer context by describing why the photo is newsworthy.

For example: Harlan Frubert smiles big while showing his reddened stomach, much to the envy of nearby dejected Belly Flop contestants at the Eastern Conference retreat center pool on June 19. Amid increasing competition, Frubert put on 15 pounds in the off-season to maintain his champion status, winning the competition for the fifth consecutive year.

Note how specifically the first sentence is written. Think of yourself as needing to explain the picture to a blind person. A concise, engaging explanation brings the scene alive. Notice, you can’t even see the picture in the example above, but it’s easy to imagine how it might appear.

Also, look how easy it is to tack on a location and date at the end of the first sentence. Do it every time.

Of course, there are exceptions. If there isn’t space, a caption writer must combine content from the two sentences into one sentence. Also, when the picture is an older file photo, the two sentences can be reversed and the date less specific. For example:

Adventist Risk Management is urging church leaders to reassess their insurance policies on all properties. Here, the British Union Conference building after a fire in 2009.

You can’t force readers to read everything you write. But you can serve them by making it easy for them to figure out if they wish to continue reading. That’s why effective story leads start with the most important part of the story – the climax. Essentially, you’re spoiling the ending.

Note, the second sentence of your caption is essentially – but not word for word – the same concept as the lead of your story. Doing this serves your readers by saving them time. People who are interested in the lead or second sentence of the caption will continue to read.

Here’s an example of how the second sentence does a good job of summarizing the entire issue: http://bit.ly/u2GtsL

Most readers won’t even notice you’re using a formula – they’ll just receive information clearly without even realizing what made the caption effective.

Exception: USA Today does this well. On a feature about Danica McKellar’s (Winnie Cooper on the TV show The Wonder Years) new book about math for girls, the picture on the jump page was just a head shot and the simple caption: “McKellar was Winnie on The Wonder Years.”

Now, did the previous paragraph just negate all of what I said up until then? Not necessarily. You need to figure out what style is going to work well for readers. USA Today uses short sentences and the front page is made to appear like a TV news screen. There are so many labels and graphics and subheads that we already know most about the story before we even start reading. A caption of a few words works for their style.

I nearly had an uprising on my hands a year and a half ago in Brazil when I taught a newswriting workshop about this subject. Associate communication directors gathered together in Sao Paulo about had a fit when I suggested that an effective, two-sentence caption should reveal most of the story. They said most editors keep the caption short to “get” the reader to read the story to find out what it’s about.

But does that work?

Remember, most readers won’t read most of what you write. If you serve them by making it easier for readers to find out what the story is about, there’s a better chance they’ll read more…but only if they’re interested in that subject. Offering summaries means you value their time and only want them to read stories that really interest them.

How can you “get” people to do what you want? The answer is by giving them more information. Empower them.

Two years ago I read an article in Forbes magazine about this concept as it relates to construction of modern casinos. Casinos are designed on the same concept as grocery stores – the longer you stay, the more you’ll spend. Neither have windows or clocks and the exits are hard to find. They want you in their own world. Then a casino builder came out with some interesting research:

It turns out that people are more likely to do what you want them to if you empower them with more information. This man found if exits are clearly marked and can be recognized from a distance, people will likely stay longer. Their internal monologue is more likely to be: “I have to meet Mike in 10 minutes outside, so I’m gonna stay here at this slot machine for eight more minutes, I know where the exit is.” Without clocks and clearly marked exits, the internal monologue could be: “I have to meet Mike in 10 minutes outside so I’ll leave now to make sure I can be on time.”

Results in higher profits prove it. The more information you give to people the better.

In Brazil, that evening after the workshop, I shared this concept with a few willing listeners privately. They seemed to understand and thought they might implement it. We’ll see.

And we’ll see what you do. I’ve given you all the information I have on this topic. Now the choice is up to you.