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November 30, 2011

Ask 'why' five times; the wisdom of Toyota and Jimmy Breslin


I was hiking through a hillside jungle of Southeast Asia last year when I decided to employ an investigative technique outlined by the world's largest auto maker.  You can use it too:

Take your stories to the next level by asking “why” five times.  If you get stuck, you can substitute one or all five with “so what?"

I got this idea from a book about the Toyota Motor Corporation. Their historically impressive reliability is rooted in their management principles, a science that doesn’t earn enough recognition. If something were to go wrong they would go beyond the surface explanation and probe for a possible underlying reason by asking “why” five times.

For example: One out of three windshields that were installed by Sally on the assembly line are cracked within a day. Instead of firing her, ask “why” five times:

1.     Why: Because she bumps them when installing them. She isn’t able to control the installer well.
2.     So What: She thought she was clumsy, but now when her manger tries and he has the same problem with her machine.
3.     Why: Because last month the machine was serviced improperly. The technician, Bob, inadvertently installed the wrong size replacement screw.
4.     Why: Because he unknowingly pulled a 3/8 screw from a drawer labeled 1/4
5.     Why: Because Jared, whose job it is to manage the replacement shop facility, has been sloppy in his work.

As we can see, Jared is the employee who needs to be reprimanded and cited for sloppy work. But without asking “why” or “so what” five times, good workers such as Sally on the assembly line or maintenance worker Bob might have been wrongly criticized.

I took to heart this lesson of asking “why” five times last year when I was in the Philippines. The Southern Asia-Pacific Division officers told me that in the south in the last few years 40 Protestant pastors from other denominations had converted to the Seventh-day Adventist faith, along with many of their congregations. So I took the one-hour flight to General Santos City and met up with a guide.

But instead of doing a story about how wonderful this was and parading the Adventist faith as the “true” faith with 40 pastors now proving it, I decided I wanted to go deeper.

I took lots of pictures and constantly scribbled notes while bouncing in a pickup along rural hill roads and while hiking up and down steep trails through mountainside jungles and farms. At one little thatch-roofed church I happened to take a picture of a girl sitting next to me. She was holding a baby – her little sister, or so I thought. My guide later told me that wasn’t her little sister, but her daughter. I was surprised because the mother couldn’t have been 15. It turns out that early marriage is common in the region.

That’s when it clicked for me. I remembered writing notes about two hours prior about how Adventist leaders in the region want to get kids of the newly Adventist congregations into schools. Other denominations don’t have the educational focus and infrastructure that Seventh-day Adventists do.

I knew I had my lead, and I asked more questions to confirm it. “The parents push their daughters to get married so they can receive a dowry,” my guide said. “Now we hope they’ll push their daughters to finish school.”

So instead of a story about 40 pastors converting to the Adventist faith, I did a story about the same thing but focused it on how it’s going to change the lives of many of their parishioners for the better. Essentially, I had subconsciously asked “so what” several times.

The story is here: http://news.adventist.org/en/archive/articles/2010/12/07/in-the-philippines-faith-conversion-offers-spiritual-reassurance-practical-

If I may be so bold, this is how legendary reporter Jimmy Breslin approached stories. He wanted to cover major events focusing on how they affected the “common man.”

The day of JFK’s funeral, every reporter in Washington D.C. was along Pennsylvania Avenue covering the event the same way as everyone else. Not Breslin. He was across the Potomac River at Arlington Cemetery interviewing the man who was digging JFK’s grave. The next day, Breslin’s story stood out.

So before reporting a story, you might now choose to ask “why” or “so what” several times. Also, ask, "whom does this really affect?" It will likely give you options for reporting a more unique and interesting angle in an otherwise predicable storyline.

November 23, 2011

Prayers for Thanksgiving

My family tradition is to gather all 30 of us in a circle around the enormous buffet and read the blessing together out loud. Aunt Dottie does especially well at the "loud" part.

For Thanksgiving break this week, here are two prayers: the second one is a link to a great prayer for reporters. The first is an original. Enjoy, and be thankful. We'll get back to the heavy stuff next week.



Our Editor, Who art in Heaven,
hallowed be Your byline.
Your conglomerate come,
Your writing be done,
in ink
as it is on the jump to page eleven.
Give us on 1A our daily spread,
and forgive us our errors,
as we forgive our lousy sources.
Lead us not into wanting to just report easy stuff,
but deliver us from writer’s block,
for Thine is the newsroom,
and deadline in one hour,
and Your story forever.

Amen.


November 16, 2011

Does your story have a professional 'look'?


Content aside, does your news copy have the look and feel of a top-tier news story?

Try keeping your paragraphs to one or two sentences...once in a while three.

But who am I to say how many sentences should be in a paragraph or how many words should be in a sentence? Don’t take my word for it. Let’s let editors of top news agencies offer their answers. They’ll tell us as we examine what they publish.

This post is on how to compare your stories to the pros in terms of appearance. Your stories should look like they belong in a top-selling newspaper.

For analysis, I pulled at random a story off the front page of three major market papers – Chicago Tribune, San Diego Union-Tribune, and The Washington Times.

I know I use the Times a lot. I recommend for beginners and those trying the exercises in this blog to frequently use The Washington Times and/or USA Today – both consistently use short, punchy sentences. Often, it can be harder to write short, meaningful sentences. It’s a good skill to know instead of relying solely on long or meandering sentences (see the September 8 posting on using fewer words).

I examined in each of the following three stories:

-words per story
-number of paragraphs per story
-mean average of words per paragraph
-shortest paragraph
-longest paragraph
-shortest sentence
-longest sentence
-frequency of number of sentences per paragraph

The first story I examined was this one from the San Diego Union Tribune: http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/2011/nov/05/historic-ship-found-off-hawaii/

It has 840 words, 21 paragraphs (‘grafs’ from here on), which equals a mean average of about 41 words per graf.

Shortest graf: 9 words
Longest graf: 60 words
Shortest sentence: 6 words
Longest sentence: 39 words

Number of grafs with:
-one sentence: 5 (23%)
-two sentences: 12 (57%)
-three sentences: 2 (10%)
-four sentences: 2 (10%)


The second story I examined was this one from the Chicago Tribune: http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/ct-biz-1105-groupon-20111105,0,4021709.story

1029 words, 21 paragraphs = 49 words per graf.

Shortest graf: 16 words
Longest graf: 77 words
Shortest sentence: 6 words
Longest sentence: 44 words

Number of grafs with:
-one sentence: 5 (24%)
-two sentences: 11 (52%)
-three sentences: 4 (19%)
-four sentences: 1 (5%)


The third story I examined was this one from The Washington Times: http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2011/nov/3/house-subpoenas-white-house-solyndra-documents/

831 words, 26 paragraphs = about 32 words per graf.

Shortest graf: 12 words
Longest graf: 53 words
Shortest sentence: 6 words
Longest sentence: 41 words

Number of grafs with one sentence: 17 (65%)
Number of grafs with two sentences: 9 (35%)


Sorry, I’m not great at layout and design; I know it would be helpful to see all three of these examples side by side. Here is a crude display of all three examples and their mean averages:

Total words per story: 840, 1029, 831 = mean average of 900
Number of grafs per story: 21, 21, 28 = 22.6
Story’s mean average of words per graf: 41, 49, 32 = 40.6
Number of words in shortest graf: 9, 16, 12 = 12.3
Number of words in longest graf: 60, 77, 53 = 66.3
Number of words in shortest sentence: 6, 6, 6 = 6
Number of words in longest sentence: 39, 44, 41 = 41.3
Percentage of grafs with:
  -One sentence: 23, 24, 65 = 37%
  -Two sentences: 57, 52, 35 = 48%
  -Three sentences: 10, 19, 0 = 10%
  -Four sentences: 10, 5, 0 = 5%

I know I don’t have enough examples to make this statistically significant, but by looking at numbers from each story example and then by combining all three, we at least have something to go by.

At this point, some of you may be shrugging your shoulders, while others might find that you’re surprised by some of the results. Perhaps you were previously writing paragraphs with four to six sentences (the above examples suggest that most of your grafs should be one or two sentences). Maybe you never had a sentence with fewer than 20 words. Or maybe your words-per-graf were way off from any of these examples.

You don’t have to write like the examples above. But if you feel your writing has plateaued, try examining structure in some of your own stories. If you find you’re way off from some of the examples here -- or examples found in media you’d like to emulate -- getting your writing closer to these boundaries may help.

And don’t just aim for the average within the boundaries. Bump up against the extremes now and then, as the above examples do. While you may choose to write some longer sentences and paragraphs, be sure to write some that are fewer than 10 or 6 words. Mix it up. (there’s a three-word sentence right there)

If you want to study the top five best-selling newspapers in the U.S., they are:

-The Wall Street Journal
-USA Today
-The New York Times
-Los Angeles Times
-San Jose Mercury News

Personal development guru Earl Nightingale said that all philosophers throughout history agreed upon only one thing: “We become what we think about.” Maybe studying top writers will make you a better writer yourself.

Try this exercise on your own with the kinds of stories you’d like to write – national, local, sports, features, lifestyle, or you may wish to study special interest magazines, such as fashion, travel or art.

Pull stories from online and paste into Notepad or Word Wrangler. Then cut and paste into a Word document for total word count. You can then highlight paragraphs and sentences and choose Word Count under the Tools menu. Remember to first remove the picture caption and advertising copy if it accidentally pastes into your document.

November 9, 2011

How to not show up in this blog


While this blog is dedicated to borrowing/being inspired by/stealing from patterns in top-tier journalism, you don’t want to be seen as a hack. Avoiding a few key clichés will demonstrate your originality.

I once had an editor who wouldn’t allow reporters to print the quote “win-win.” "It’s too much of a cliché,” she said. If a subject gave that quote – often “win-win situation” – reporters had to keep asking questions and get a different quote.

She also wouldn’t allow the quote “giving back to the community.” One of the other reporters for a time even ran a blog called Stop Giving Back – an ode to the egregious uses of the phrase found on daily news sites.

A word I dislike printing is “intentional.”  It’s often stated in a religious management setting. “We need to be more intentional about this,” or “we’re going to intentionally reach out to others more.” The word is unnecessary. A more effective word is “deliberate.” Or just delete it altogether. Think about it … do you “intentionally pick up a suitcase,” or do you just simply “pick up a suitcase”?

On the TV show The Simpsons, executives of the Krusty the Clown show thought they would increase ratings by making the show more “proactive” and by offering a “new paradigm.” The writers saw through the corporate consultant’s drivel.  

My favorite parody of hack journalism is the YouTube video, How To Report The News, by Charlie Brooker. He drops the F-bomb once, but that’s OK for this example, I guess. It's not unwarranted in his British setting.

Actually, if you’re a student and can put together a TV news report this good, you’re doing well. Still, it’s a reminder of how formulaic news reporting can be.

Watch it here:


November 6, 2011

One sentence or paragraph at a time

Beginning writers can sometimes have difficulty focusing their writing. Their story can kinda be all over the place. This exercise can help.

Write your story in one sentence. That’s it….only one. Pretend your editor is asking you to do so.

Then pretend your editor has gotten back to you, approved your one-sentence story and granted you another sentence. Write a second sentence to your story.

Then add a third. With each sentence, you’re pretending in your mind that the story could be cut off at any point. This is extreme loyalty to the inverted pyramid—key information up top, less crucial information further into the story.

You can do this exercise one sentence at a time or one paragraph at a time. Remember, a paragraph in newswriting should only be 1-3 sentences, once in a while 4.

Writing one sentence at a time or one paragraph at a time (with the thought that the story could end after each) will help your stories have stronger focus.

November 2, 2011

Teach yourself good story flow


It’s been a while since the fellow journalism nerds and I played a game I like to call "Newswriting Skeleton." Only serious journalism nerds will even attempt this. I'm talking reeeeeally nerdy: tape-on-your-glasses, toilet-paper-on-your-shoe, high-waisted-pants-with-suspenders and a-bust-of-Bob-Woodward-on-your-nightstand-with-accompanying-shrine nerdy.

Get a newspaper or online news story, and on a piece of paper write down the generic description of each paragraph in a story. The goal of Newswriting Skeleton is to see who can describe the accomplishment of each paragraph in generic terms most thoroughly and in the fewest words.

Generic, Thorough, and Concise.

For example, if the news story is 20 paragraphs, you’ll end up with 20 descriptions. Let’s take The Washington Times story about the assassination of Benazir Bhutto, referenced in my September 27, 2011 posting:

(Again, note to IP lawyers who might consider suing me for this: Please notice that this is for educational purposes and I am only quoting three paragraphs out of the story’s total of 28.):

PARAGRAPH 1: Political icon Benazir Bhutto was killed in a suicide attack, all but ending a bid by moderate civilian politicians to take on militant Muslims who have made Pakistan the hub for global terrorism.

PARAGRAPH 2: Mrs. Bhutto, 54, had just finished addressing a campaign rally of her Pakistan Peoples Party (PPP) in Rawalpindi, a suburb of the capita, Islamabad.

PARAGRAPH 3: As she rose through the sunroof of her lightly armored sport utility vehicle, an assassin hit the opposition leader and former prime minister with at least two bullets before blowing himself up.

PARAGRAPH 4: (I won't write it, but it's a quote from a senior PPP leader commenting on the significance of the assassination).

Your list of descriptions might look like the following:

1.     Title, Who, died and how, significance.
2.     Subject's age, what she was doing just prior to death, where.
3.     Details of subject's death, additional bio info.
4.     Quote from subject's people on significance of her death.

Do this Newswriting Skeleton exercise for an entire story. Do it for several stories. Invite your fellow nerds over for a Saturday night party to do a bunch of them. You can rank each other's paragraph as you review your descriptions together. You can determine who had the description of each paragraph that accomplished the three goals the best: Generic, Thorough, and Concise.

Keep each story and paperclip to it each corresponding paragraph description you wrote. You can review them regularly. You'll see how these story patterns can be used for similar stories by just changing the nature of the subject, dates, locations, etc..

After a while, I think you’ll see how this teaches at least two things:

-Flow (how the story unfolds)
-Thoroughness (what details are necessary to offer readers)

You’ll really start to notice patterns emerge, especially if you do it with some obits (see earlier blog postings on obits). Seeing these patterns will influence your own writing so that you also achieve excellent story flow and thoroughness of necessary details.

While your local major market daily will work fine (Chicago Tribune, Atlanta Journal-Constitution, The Seattle Times, etc…) I recommend this and other exercises using USA Today and The Washington Times – each has short, clear sentences. Save the New York Times and The Washington Post for later, after you feel comfortable with this exercise … I mean, amazingly fun game. 

Start off with hard news, especially the police beat, and know it well before branching out to metro news, world, features, sports, lifestyle and celebrity. If I’m hiring a writer, I first look at clips of their hard news writing before I move on to their features.